Visa applications!!!

Whoever said VISA application interviews are the hardest thing before going to the States.
Have they tried filling the Application Forms. They are too Hilarious!! One section actually says:

Have you ever been arrested or convicted for any offense or crime, even though subject of a pardon, amnesty or other similar legal action? Ya Like i would Say "Yes"

Have you ever unlawfully distributed or sold a controlled substance (drug), or been a prostitute or procurer for prostitutes? Hmmm Interesting!!!!

Have you ever been refused admission to the U.S., or been the subject of a deportation hearing, or sought to obtain or assist others to obtain a visa, entry into the U.S., or any other U.S. immigration benefit by fraud or willful misrepresentation or other unlawful means? Blah Blah & Blah

Do you seek to enter the United States to engage in export control violations, subversive or terrorist activities, or any other unlawful purpose? Are you a member or representative of a terrorist organization as currently designated by the U.S. Secretary of State? Have you ever participated in persecutions directed by the Nazi government of Germany; or
have you ever participated in genocide? Dis is too much, Giving Ideas and all!!

Have you ever been afflicted with a communicable disease of public health significance or a dangerous physical or mental disorder, or ever been a drug abuser or addict? Yes, that’s why I am APPLYING for a Visa!!!